dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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