we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
