Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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