There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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