My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Girls should come with a carfax report
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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