He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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