no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
