Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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