Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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