After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
