goodnight i made you a song goodbye
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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