you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
