Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
