why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it hurts more in the daytime
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
