Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
