first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
