um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
two words: eviction party
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
