So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Shame - the story of my life.
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