So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize