I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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