We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
