I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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