then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
