i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
