Walk of Shame. In a state park.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
