Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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