I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
