For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
