She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
