Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize