Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
