I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
