Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
