youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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