i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
