4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
