Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
