Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
