so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
