Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My nipple is on Facebook.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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