i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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