I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
