i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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