Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
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