I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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