Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize