so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
