I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
