No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
my poor anus
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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