WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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