Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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