If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
