I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize