Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My feet surprised me
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