I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
