I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
