Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
