im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
