Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
