Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
