Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
