This girl is more easily done than said...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
