That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
